At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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