Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
