normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
what day is it and did you see me today?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
