im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
