i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
