THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
