I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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