chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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