Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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