dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Slut skills are useful in every country.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
