I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
