This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
