Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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