Whats the glycemic index on semen?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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