I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
