Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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