are you so shy because you have an std?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
