I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
