Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Pants are for mortals
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
