He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
