first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
