the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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