i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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