Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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