I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
