I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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