if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize