It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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