all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
