i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
