Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
