he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
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