butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
