Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
