i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
