so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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