what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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