So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
