Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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