Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
