I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
