I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
