Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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