im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
