I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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