why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize