I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
