He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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