There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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