I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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