He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
