She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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