You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
