I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize