Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
