shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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