i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
