i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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