margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
